Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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