i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
