my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Randomize
