would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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