Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
