so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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