I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
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