My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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