I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
