Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Randomize
