Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
i drank out of a bidet.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
