did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
