Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
organizing the empties. That sober.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
