Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
