new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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