my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
