How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
