pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
