god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
