Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
