so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
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