Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
