I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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