I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
this boner is exhausting
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
