i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
