...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Your penis caused this!
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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