my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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