omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
