I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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