So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Randomize
