i need an iv and a liver transplant
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
