Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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