so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
