I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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