which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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