Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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