I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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