two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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