i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Randomize
