He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
