is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
