i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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