Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Randomize
