i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Randomize
