i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
