He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
