it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
