so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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