its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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