did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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