I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
