I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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