Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
