i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize