I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
